A very close friend, a knight I know, has asked me to write letters to myself on a monthly basis. What's more, he's smart enough that he came up with the idea that I should read them aloud when they're done. It's amazing how writing them, I feel very much like the me that is encouraging and supportive. Reading them... hearing them read... I feel very much like the me that is nurtured and cared for by the words. Though it makes me cry, I am beginning to see the good in this sort of practice.
Dear Beloved,
Here we are again at the place where I am supposed to say something to you, and you are supposed to hear and know that you’re doing okay. The advice is supposed to be positive, and good. I suppose, it’s strange to say “you” and “I”, when we are both just “me”... but there it is.
I’m not sure what it is you need to hear, or what it is I need to say, but I do have faith in the ink. I know that if I just let the words flow, they will lead me in the right direction... they always do. You know, of course, that I’ve been lost in the story of Le Cirque des Re’ves, for several days. The magic appeals to me, the potential for the dreamlike, the intricacies and details that add to that dream’s inherent sensuality. I do love that type of story. I think there is a message in that story for you, and for me.
I think the message is two-fold. First, trust the ink. Trust the magic of creating with words. You are, at heart, a poet, a dreamer, a story weaver. Find the magic that moves you and keeps you awake at night, and get it down on paper. Make that dream come alive in the letters and words and phrases that spill from your pen in a continuous thread. This is, more than any other single thing, who you are. You were made to write. This is your magic, as sure as your deep emotion, and your capacity for love are magical, your true gift is words. Embrace that truth, and live it. Please.
The second message is this - there is always something impossible, something unbelievable, something incredible to hope for. There is a reason to keep dreaming. You’ve been hurt again, and you are tired of the hurting and the worry and the grief. You are tired of being cautious with your heart. I know you’re afraid of risking so much again just to be hurt. You say you refuse to hold back. But you are on hold... and maybe that is wise. Maybe you need time to heal, and that is perfectly fine.
But Beloved, don’t give up. Don’t quit. Don’t close your heart to the possibility that somewhere out there in your future, in your life, there is the magic of falling in love again. You make magic still in your relationship with Shepherd. You live magic in your home, with the life you and Husband have built with children and grandchildren, too. You are extremely fortunate to have such wonder in two worlds.
Just don’t close your heart to the possibility that you might find it in three... or more... the truth is, you never know what you might find if you let your heart believe anything is possible -- and that alone is worth the risk.
There is more love. There is more possibility. There is more.
Don’t close the door.
Here we are again at the place where I am supposed to say something to you, and you are supposed to hear and know that you’re doing okay. The advice is supposed to be positive, and good. I suppose, it’s strange to say “you” and “I”, when we are both just “me”... but there it is.
I’m not sure what it is you need to hear, or what it is I need to say, but I do have faith in the ink. I know that if I just let the words flow, they will lead me in the right direction... they always do. You know, of course, that I’ve been lost in the story of Le Cirque des Re’ves, for several days. The magic appeals to me, the potential for the dreamlike, the intricacies and details that add to that dream’s inherent sensuality. I do love that type of story. I think there is a message in that story for you, and for me.
I think the message is two-fold. First, trust the ink. Trust the magic of creating with words. You are, at heart, a poet, a dreamer, a story weaver. Find the magic that moves you and keeps you awake at night, and get it down on paper. Make that dream come alive in the letters and words and phrases that spill from your pen in a continuous thread. This is, more than any other single thing, who you are. You were made to write. This is your magic, as sure as your deep emotion, and your capacity for love are magical, your true gift is words. Embrace that truth, and live it. Please.
The second message is this - there is always something impossible, something unbelievable, something incredible to hope for. There is a reason to keep dreaming. You’ve been hurt again, and you are tired of the hurting and the worry and the grief. You are tired of being cautious with your heart. I know you’re afraid of risking so much again just to be hurt. You say you refuse to hold back. But you are on hold... and maybe that is wise. Maybe you need time to heal, and that is perfectly fine.
But Beloved, don’t give up. Don’t quit. Don’t close your heart to the possibility that somewhere out there in your future, in your life, there is the magic of falling in love again. You make magic still in your relationship with Shepherd. You live magic in your home, with the life you and Husband have built with children and grandchildren, too. You are extremely fortunate to have such wonder in two worlds.
Just don’t close your heart to the possibility that you might find it in three... or more... the truth is, you never know what you might find if you let your heart believe anything is possible -- and that alone is worth the risk.
There is more love. There is more possibility. There is more.
Don’t close the door.
-Me
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